Enlisted
by threadmaster alchemist
Summary: Riza centered. from when she joins the military to Ishbal. some Royai, and Some havocai/friendship.
1. prologue

**Disclaimer! I do not own full metal alchemist! **

_So this is the prologue to enlisted. I know I should have posted it first. But since the whole story is one of those that was born in the early hours of the morning (between 2 and 4) and thus sort of all messed up because the brain powers of someone still awake at that time is significantly lower that what it should be. Especially if the person is writing to de-stress as I often do, especially lately. So yeah. Prologue now and other stuff later. Still trying to figure out exactly how far I want this story to go. But it will definitely reach into ishbal I think. But like there is a rather big story arc that I am going to be focusing on… hopefully.. But now that I am working on this whatever oneshots I write will end up being within this ones timeline plot whatever. Because that is sorta the way my brain works. So it will be annoying. Hopefully I will be able to alter them enough to just go fit them in the 100 themes. Anyway. Now story! _

_Introductions _

Riza Hawkeye, carried her lunch tray over to an empty table in the mess hall, and sat down. She sat by herself not because there were no other empty seats at any of the other tables but because she didn't want to sit with anyone else. And she was extremely shy. She didn't know why but she just always had been. It was something that had carried over from her childhood of being shunned for being the daughter of the alchemist. She knew it didn't matter here because no one knew of her past but it was still something she did automatically. _I really need to break this habit and get to know people_. She thought to herself. Vowing to sit at a table with other people at it starting next week. She started eating her food in silence.

"Hey, can I sit here?" Riza was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of a male voice. She looked up from her food and saw the source of the voice. A young blond man who was taking a cigarette out of his mouth and tucking it behind his ear. "The name is Havoc, Jean Havoc. And you are?" He smiled at her.

"Riza Hawkeye. Its nice to meet you. Of course you can sit here, I mean why would you ask?" Riza replied hoping she didn't sound crazy.

"Well it looked like you were enjoying eating all by yourself so I didn't want to interrupt whatever it was that you were gaining by eating alone." Havoc said laughing, and sitting down across the table from her.

"I wasn't really getting anything out of it. I guess you could just say I am extremely shy, and still haven't gotten the nerves to go up and actually sit with people." Riza said, surprised that she was opening up to this man so easily.

"I see well, now you will sit with me and I will introduce you to people." Havoc said grinning.

"No its okay, I don't mind sitting by myself if you have friends you would rather sit with." Riza said hurridly, hoping that he wasn't sitting with her out of pity.

"Don't be silly! You are new too aren't you? What we've all been here a month? Bet you haven't even started basic gun training yet. I know I haven't." Havoc said.

"well that is true… but don't go out of your way to be friends with me."

"you are being stupid and silly. I'm havoc and you are hawkeye and now we are friends. Now eat up. I want a cigarette before we have to go back to training." Havoc said giving her a look that said it would be stupid to refuse.

The two finished eating and dropping their plates at the collection point, they walked outside into the warm spring air. Havoc lit his cigarette and took a puff.

"Do you have an extra cig?" Riza asked. Glancing at him.

"you smoke too? Sure." Havoc said digging in his pocket for a very crushed looking pack of cigarettes and handed on to Riza, who took a book of matches out of her pocket and lit the cigarette. Sliding her back down against the wall of the building she sat down. Havoc did the same.

"so where are you from?" Havoc asked.

"The West area. And where are you from?"

"The east, my parents own a general store in a small town out in the country."

"That's nice."

"What about your parents, what did they say about you joining the military?" Havoc noticed Riza's face cloud, and she took a long pull of her cigarette. "sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"No its okay, my parents… they are dead. I don't have any family, so no one to go home to which, I guess is why I shouldn't really say home is in the west. Because it isn't anymore that's just were I am from." Riza gushed out and than bit her lip.

"Sorry, I…"

"Its okay, not like it's your fault or anything." Riza said.

"I guess… that's horrible though, so you just live here in central now?"

"yeah, until I graduate and get stationed somewhere else."

"I see what you mean."

"Don't worry about it. Hey, we should probably get back now, lunch is almost over." Riza said, putting her cigarette out and standing up.

"Yeah, I guess so." Havoc agreed standing up as well. "Will I see you around?" He asked. Riza smiled and nodded.

"Definitely, you are the first friend I'v made here, so far."

"That will be changing." Havoc said punching her lightly on the arm.

"Yeah right." Riza said shaking her head and waving as they parted ways.


	2. 2: scars and memories

**Disclaimer, i do not own fullmetal alchemist! **

_So i started writing this as one of the 100 themes, but it sort of morphed into something completely different, and i sort of got an idea for a longer story, so whole new story, may try to tie it in with some of the theme drabbles i did, and revise them to fit in here, but i don't know we shall see how it goes. _

Riza crouched in the farthest corner of her room in the barracks at the academy her knees hugged to her chest. She silently let sobs shake her small frame. Slowly picking up a razor that had been lying on the floor, she pulled her shirt up, and dragged the razor across the skin over the side of her stomach, willing the tears to stop. the sharp pain of the blade, cutting skin made her bite her lip and find enough strength to turn her mind away from what had made her cry, and just focus one thing. one more cut, and she had stopped crying completely. that was better she thought as she watched the small drops of blood pool out of the cuts. she hated crying. it was a sign of weakness, and she wanted to anything but weak. and the pain just was a reassurance that she wasn't actually weak, because if you could take the physical, that maybe the mental would be easier to bear. Every thing was so different here, her father was dead. Her only friend was gone, just up and left, after she gave everything to him. And people were actually nice. She thought back to before her father had died. when Roy had still been studying with her father. Back in her home town where everyone knew her as the "_crazy alchemist's kid, the tomboy with the weird obsession with guns. "_ everyone had avoided her because of this, so she never had any friends when she was younger until he came along. He - Roy Mustang, her father's last student had started studying with Riza's father when she had been 14, and he had been nice to her, and they had become good friends. unlike the other students her father had before him. they had all thought of her as a servant, and had paid no attention to her. that is why she didn't remember them, they weren't remarkable, all the same what she was used to. being ignored, all until he had come along, she had for once in her life felt accepted. and than he left, she should have know he was just like all the rest, in the end... maybe better than the others, nicer than the others, worthier than the others. Riza than thought of the night right before she let her home to move to the city, the last week before he left. Riza had felt sure that he was the one, and had shown him the secrets, given him the secrets, the ones on her back, the ones to the alchemy her father had perfected, and had used her as a notebook to record. _"the best kept secret of berthold hawkeye, set in the flesh of his daughters back. " _Riza thought bitterly. She thought of the reason she had decided Roy was the one to show it too, now she couldn't decide if she had actually believe in what he wanted to do with it to, _"alchemy is for the people right? so i want to help them, and use alchemy for what it is supposed to be used for, helping people." _He had spoken so passionately, how could she have not given them to him. _"but, you were in love with him you silly girl, you had attached to him, he was the only friend you ever had, and so you fell in love with him didn't you?"_ An evil part of her subconcious asked. She picked up the razor again, and roughly dragged it across her skin trying to get her mind away from the subject. _"it doesn't matter anymore, he left, and i was stupid and i should put it all behind me" _ she thought angrily, realizing that the worst part about the whole situation was how different things were now, because no one knew of her reputation, as a weirdo, she was even praised for her abilities with guns, it was a good thing in the military. and people were friendly, well the ones that talked to her.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on the door and the sound of the handle being turned. Riza looked up from the floor as the door opened, she reacted quickly and slid the razor under her bed and quickly pulled her shirt down over her stomach hiding the cuts, as a young blond man walked into the room, grinning.

"Havoc don't you know of a concept called knocking? Riza, growled angry and hoping that there was no blood on her clothes, and that her face wasn't as tearstained as it felt. or that he actually had not seen the razor.

It wasn't the fact that he had seen the hurried attempt to hide the razor, that freaked Havoc out. Even though he had only recently met Riza, and he still didn't know her, because she kept her self walled off most of the time, and she was like a brick wall to break. but he thought of her as one of his best friends in central, and that wasn't many. the thing that had scared him was the fact that she looked so small. he knew she was not exactly tall, but she always carried herself confidantely and with sort of an _"i will fuck you up, if you get on my bad side" _ kind of attitude that made her seem, bigger, and stronger than she looked right now.

"Hawkeye, whats wrong?" he asked walking into the room and shutting the door. he saw her stand up and wipe her eyes.

"nothing, I am fine Havoc." she said turning her back to him and trying to pull herself together.

"that is bullshit Hawkeye, I know a razor when I see one, and I am not stupid you normally are so energetic, whats with the huddled in the corner thing?" he asked he asked, maybe a little to sharply.

"it's none of your business, okay?"

"Yes it is my business, I am your friend aren't i?"

"I barely know you..."

"Well apparently, what- wh- why... why do you hurt yourself like that? and where, you are stupid, you could kill yourself or something."

"I won't, if i wanted to kill myself than It would be easier to just take a gun to my head. and it's none of your business where. or why for that matter." Riza, snapped tugging at her shirt uncomfortably. Havoc noticed the movement.

"there on your stomach is that where? and whatever. but why? I want to help you, its not good you know. you can talk to me, I'm not gonna go blabbing your baggage out to everyone, I'm not that type of guy." Havoc said. Riza hung her head and slumped onto the bed.

"okay, fine. You got me, I'l tell you the abbreviated story. happy family, mother dies, father becomes obsessed with his alchemic research, daughter grows lonely, daughter grows older, gets shunned in school, ignored at home, treated like a servant, by the fathers alchemy students, who all came and went none staying longer than a year. Father... fath... he, oh fuck it, that I can't tell you with out betraying him. anyway, Girl still forgotton and lonely, feels like a ghost, decides to see if pain will make her feel human again. It does, girl cuts more and more often, new student comes this one stays, and treats girl nicely, they become friends , he finds out about the cutting, and tries to help, he stays for a long time she stupidly falls in love with him. , than he left, to join the military, he comes back, father he died. I... I showed him the secrets, and than he leaves, and than I left, there was nothing left there, everyone thought I was crazy or something, I came here and enlisted, and tried to forget about everything." Riza finished. Havoc was silent for a minute.

"well you aren't alone now, and if I ever meet this ex student, of your fathers' I'l kick his ass for hurting you. you are gonna get through this, I'm gonna help you. Because that is what friends are for. And I don't want to hear any arguments okay? She didn't answer him and looked away, he grabbed her shoulders and turned him to face him. "Riza, don't lock your self up anymore, let someone help you, because it's just gonna get worse okay? I don't want to be anything more than a friend to you okay? If you are thinking that I am just trying to get into your pants or something... I dunno, sometimes thats what girls think, or so I've been told. but please just let me help?" Havoc said.

"Thanks, I guess, I don't know, I need a friend."

"well you have one, now go get cleaned up, it is our day off remember?" Havoc said trying to lighten the mood, seeing that she obviously didn't want to talk anymore, and thinking it best to change the subject, he could get her to agree to stop cutting another time, for now he just needed to cheer her up.

"okay, fine." she said, putting on a smile, just for appearences sake, and ran into the bathroom to wash her face. when she left havoc glanced under the bed, and seeing the razor that had been hurridly hidden under there, he picked it up and slipped it into the empty pack of cigarettes that he still had lying in his pocket from earlier, he reached into his other pocket and pulled out the new pack of cigarettes and was smoking one by the time Riza walked back into the room, grabbing her wallet and keys and stuffing them in the pockets of her cargo pants, and jerking her head towards the door. "lets go, and you had better give me a fucking cigarette, because i still need to go buy a new pack." she said as they walked out the door.

He looked at her as he follwed her out the door, she looked better, calmer but he wasn't sure if that was just a mask or not, and if she was really just a screaming ball of emotions still inside. He figured he may never know, and gave his new friend the cigarette she had requested.


	3. 3: Valentines Day

_**Disclaimer I do not own fullmetal alchemist!**_

_a quick valentines day chapter. :D i wrote this in 15 minutes. it was really fun! hopefully my grammer is getting a little better, I try to make sure I capitilize more. _

Riza Hawekeye, walked down the street trying to not look at all the happy couples she saw walking and hanging out. She walked into the grocery store, and bought a pint of strawberry ice cream, her favorite. Than made her way to the chocolate store. there was a line of mostly men waiting to buy chocolate for their sweethearts. Riza ignored them, when it was her turn she bought maple fudge and some peanut butter filled chocolates. The man at the counter looked at her.

"No boyfriend?" he asked.

"No." Riza replied simply.

"Why doesn't a pretty girl like you have a boyfriend? I bet there are plenty of guys who would love to be your boyfriend." the man said.

"I'm in the military." Riza replied simply, the man nodded and rang up her purchase.

"Well don't let that stop you from finding a nice guy." The man said as she left the store. Riza sighed and thought of the man she wished she could go out with. But he had left, so she just made her way back to the barracks and made herself feel better by eating her chocolate and the whole pint of ice cream.

A loud banging, interupted her quiet day.

"Riza, open up and stop moping! come out and have some fun, me and the guys are going out to drink!" Riza's best friend Havoc yelled before busting her door open.

"I don't..."

"Shut up and stop complaining you are going out wither you like it or not." Havoc said, before taking a piece of chocolate and eating it.

"Hey those are mine!" Riza said grabbing the chocolates and hiding them behind her back.

"Mhmm those are good can I have another one?" Havoc said making a grab for the bag.

"No! well fine.. just one. " Riza said handing him another.

"Thanks, now come on and get ready! You can't just sit inside moping all day." Havoc said starting to drag her out of the room.

"Okay fine, let me grab a bag okay?" Riza said grabbing a small purse and making sure she had everything she needed. The one thing that she liked about living in central was that the drinking age was eighteen instead of twenty, unlike back home. Having everything she grabbed a sweater and followed havoc out of her room. they got outside.

"I got her!" Havoc yelled to the small group of people waiting outside the barracks.

"Really? I thought for sure it would have taken longer than just fifteen minutes." Josh said laughing, Riza scowled at him, and flipped him off.

"Whatever, lets go maybe there will be some hot single chicks at the bar!" Havoc said and started walking towards the center of the city.

"The only thing Havoc ever thinks about, Girls." Riza said punching him lightly.

"Shut up." Havoc said as the group made their way to their favorite drinking spot.

_Maybe valentines day won't be as bad as I thought. _ Riza thought, thankful to have friends who wouldn't let her sit in her room and mope all day.


	4. 4: Memories Of Secrets Shared

_**Disclaimer!: i do not own fullmetal alchemist! **_

_First to RoseDoll Alchemist. thanks for the review! here is some roy for you. storyline wise he may not -actually- show up until ishbal. but FLASHBACK FTW. okay yes. anyway. here you go. _

_sort of random inspiration that came from a review and feeling sort of particularly lonely and sad tonight. _

Riza curled into a ball under her covers, trying to fall asleep, she felt so alone. It was warm in her room in the central barracks at the military academy. Warmer than it had been in months, spring was approaching. But why couldn't she sleep, tossing the blankets to the side she got up and opened her window, she sat on the windowsill and checking to make sure there was no one around to see her, she lit a cigarette. They weren't allowed to smoke in the barracks but sometimes at night she just didn't care, if it meant helping her get to sleep. leaning her head back against the window frame she took a long pull from the cigarette and than released it, sending a puff of smoke out into the night sky, which was scattered with stars. She stared up at them, lost in thought occasionally pulling from her cigarette.

_"Its a beautiful night isn't it?" He asked her as he walked up behind her looking out the window. "the whole universe is out there." She simply nodded and turned away. it was a beautiful night, but she was too tired and worn out to really notice. He looked at her worriedly. "Riza, are you okay?" he asked. _

_"I'm fine Roy, just tired, with the funeral and everything else..." she looked blankly past him. _

_"I know, it will get easier to deal with." _

_"I suppose, Roy... Theres.. Theres something you should see. I decided that you, that its the right time... " Riza stammered hoping she really was making the right desicion. _

_"What is it Riza?" Roy asked curious, yet having a vague idea of what she was talking about. _

_"My, Fathers... The secrets to flame alchemy." She said taking a deep breath, as she turned away so that her back was facing him, she started undoing the buttons on the front of her shirt, as Roy looked at her confused. _

_"really? where... Riza?" She let the shirt fall down off her shoulders and pulled it around and holding it over her breasts, but giving him a perfect veiw of her back. He just stared for a minute when he saw the tattoo, that was the secret to flame alchemy. and than felt himself getting angry. "He... Riza, Did you agree? What the fuck? why the fuck... god.. Riza..." _

_"Roy, Just shut up. You want to learn the secret right? It doesnt matter now, he's gone and its over and done with..." Her voice quivered like she might start crying. But Roy knew she wouldn't not now. She always tried never to cry, She hated crying almost more than he did. _

_"Yes, Riza, I want to learn, but.. " She turned her head and glared at him, her eyes glistened a bit. _

_"What do you need to study it?" She snapped. _

_"I.. God, I don't know... i guess if i make a copy of it on paper... or write down everything... it could be the way it's placed on the whole design... god i don't even know where to begin." _

_"you know where the paper and writing stuff is right?" _

_"yeah." _

_"than go get it. I want to get this done as soon as possible... please?" _

_"of... of course, sure." Roy went to the library to get his materials. _

Riza stopped reminicsing when she realized she has smoked her cigarette down to the filter, she sighed and lit another one. before glancing up at the stars again.

_It had taken a week and a half for Roy to copy the entired Tattoo completely, and make enough notes to fill a notebook, and once he started studying more probably two or three. Riza was glad when it was all finally finished. _

_"I guess I'm leaving in the morning... I have to get back to the east, and start studying as well as i have been away from work from quite some time now." Roy said as he and Riza sat in the kitchen drinking tea. _

_"I know." Riza said. _

_"what will you do from here?" _

_"I don't know I never really thought about it, maybe college... maybe not. Maybe i'l just stay here for a little while longer." Riza shrugged. "i really don't know" _

_"well if you ever happen by east city, give me a call okay?" Riza nodded, Roy smiled and gingerly reached out to brush a bit of hair out of her face. She blushed. "Your so pretty, you take care okay?" _

_"I will." She said simply. "are you done with your tea?" He nodded and she stood up and took the tea cups to the sink and placed them in it. Roy watched her, She was really pretty, He didn't know what came over him, but impulsivly he got up and tenderly embraced her from behind. _

_"Riza, I'l miss you. " He said letting his lips brush past her cheek softly. She was surprised when he had put his arms around her but, she quickly relaxed against him, feeling his warm body against hers. She turned around to face him, their lips met in a shy kiss. He pulled her tightly against him. and deepened the kiss, her hands which had been limply hanging by her sides slowly found his waist. They broke apart. and she smiled nervously. _

_"It's late, we should get to bed." She said, matter of factly. _

_"but, Riza... " Roy, whispered, not wanting to leave her. _

_"what?" Riza, almost snapped at him but didnt, she was smiling just a little. _

_"nothing, you have a nice smile." _

_"i guess..." She answered and started walking out of the kitchen and up stairs. _

_"Riza." Roy, followed her upstairs and stopped when he reached the door to her room. _

_"I know you are standing out there, you can come in if you want, its not like i have a gun to shoot you with." She said laughing as he awkardly stood outside trying to pretend he had been just walking past, as he stepped into the room, He tripped over the door jam, and fell. Riza helped him up laughing. _

_"you are so clumsy sometimes." she teased. He glared at her, and than Grabbed her and gently pushed her onto the bed. She turned her face up to him and they kissed, this time hands exploring each others bodies as they tried to become as close as possible._

_"Riza, you sure about this?" She just nodded in response. _

Riza jerked out of her daydream. and almost fell out of the window, she dropped her cigarette angrily and punched the fall, she had been so naive. What a mistake. She rememberd that when she had woken up the next morning he had been gone, just with a note.

_"dear Riza,_

_Sorry, I wanted to say good bye, but I didn't want to wake you up. I had to catch the first train, back to eastern command - where i am stationed. sorry. _

_- Roy" _

That was it, She had been heartbroken, and had left for central the next week, There was nothing left for her in that town, She would never call it home again.

"fuck" she said aloud to herself, still not feeling anymore tired than before. she knew she needed to get to sleep, she had to wake up at seven.

"Atleast it is better to go to sleep alone and wake up alone, than go to sleep with someone and wake up to find they have left." She grumbled to herself climbing back into bed, As she closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep, his face drifted across her mind.

"I wonder if you think about me as much as i think about you." she murmered as she finally fell into a restless sleep.


End file.
